Procrastination is alive and well

I can't even be bothered to count how long since lockdown started because it's too long ago and I've forgotten what life feels like before all of this happened. I don't want to give lockdown any more of my energy and brain power. But I come with news this morning that 7 year olds are exceptionally talented at the art of procrastination. This has been my enforced distraction and observation of my daughter since 8.30am this morning whilst trying to get her to sit down to do her maths. I should add I am also trying to file a VAT return, reconcile an overdue supplier account, research into a wonderful new plant growing vase on Kickstarter, write this blog all whilst trying not to lose my absolute s***.

MONDAY PROCRASTINATION ACTIVITIES (SO FAR)

Spent approximately the longest time in her life brushing teeth because it meant not starting maths

Rearranged her wardrobe (mainly clearing out school uniform "that I won't need.") IF ONLY....

Tidied her room (nb, NEVER happens usually)

Spent approx half an hour trying to find a piece of scrap paper to host a maths 'working out.'

Picked bogies (almost touching brain) whilst in a total reverie

Cleaned inside of nose with a water planter spray dispenser

Peeled and eaten 3 maybe 4 satsumas, who's counting?

Sharpened several pencils

Had a fake sneezing fit from pencil sharpnerers' debris

Monged out staring at the singed grass outside (that was a repeated activity)

Picked bogies again (trying to reach brain again and possibly kick it into start maths mode)

Lost and found a suddenly essential laptop charger several times

Got her entire self into a cupboard

Asked me to do her hair (again)

Enquired as to why people have photographic minds and how does that work

Recounting the potential list of numbers a person with a photographic minded person might recall, 527, 725 and it went on...

Made up her own song

Laughed at how hilarious it would be if a famous singer farted mid way through a performance

Then started making fake farting noises

Played with a cocktail stick

Stacked rubbers and poked them incessantly with her pencil

Analysed body parts to show me her mud marks from yesterday's bike ride and announcing 'she needs a bath' and may have one tomorrow.

Intermittently requested, 'when is break?'

My Answer: NOW, dismissed.

I GIVE UP.